This weather is killing me...the rain the cold yuck! I hate it- I could so move to a hot climate and stay, if everyone I love wasn't here...it also brings back memories of this time of year last year, I try not to let it but it does anyway. I cannot believe Glenn has been gone over 5 months, where does the time go? The first 3 months or so I really don't remember much at all, still in shock I guess.
How have I made it this long alone? I'll never know. Glenn and I spent so much time talking about what would be done when he was gone that I don't think I really had time to think much about being alone. I mean, I am very independent- I know this because it caused many fights in our marriage :). I remember wishing I had met Glenn later in life because I did not want to get married young, I just didn't, but when you know you know. I never thought I would be bothered by being alone, cause hey I am not alone right? I have my boys, my work my friends... well it isn't the same . It's not so much the being alone as it is the not having that person you talk to about everything, the one you call when you hear something funny or shocking, the one that you check on when you hear of something bad happening...the one you want to see the new movie with or get a "very" honest opinion from. I miss having that person and also miss being that person for someone else. I think that is what being alone is, not so much the physical part, but the emotional. WOW so many things since Glenn got sick have been so unexpected and random. You think you know just how you will feel, or how you will handle things but you haven't a clue...I guess that's me right now, clueless...at best.