Saturday, September 4, 2010

Reality bites...

Wedding went wonderful, very beautiful, cute happy couple.   Justin and Sunnie, cherish every moment of your lives together the good and the difficult, it is all a part of your wonderful journey...

 Went back to work last week, went to Anaheim for a week it was difficult be a lot of fun also.  Had a few hard moments, so many people I work with also worked with Glenn so lots of "Glenn Talk" but it was good to hear so many nice stories.  My friends at work are amazing and so supportive- I am very lucky.
   As for returning to my workplace on Monday- it was much more difficult than I had anticipated.  I was there about 10 min and my desk phone rang and I instantly looked at my caller id (like I used to do) to see if it was Glenn, in case it was an emergency, and that was all it took.  Between that and my stupid picture frame with the changing pix- you could stick a fork in my cause I was done!!!  I lasted about 4 hours, then went to see my Dr., I knew I needed something to take the edge of so I could work.  They couldn't believe I had gone as long as I had without anything. I guess I just felt like if I was numb, it would prolong my healing- but now I know that I will always have this tender scar, no healing, just not as raw someday I guess.  Like I had said before, not getting over, just getting through the pain.  The meds help and I don't feel loopy or anything so that is good, just not so fragile I guess.
     I  attempted to clean out my closet last night.  I am not getting rid of any of Glenns things, jut putting them somewhere else.  A lot of things my boys will take I am sure, they have already started to do that.  It was just difficult because it brought back so many memories.  I am making a quilt from some of his t shirts, so that made it a bit easier to go through things- bitter sweet is a good explanation I think.  It reminded me of when he designed the closet to hold "all of my stupid shoes".. he worked so hard on that and still I have too many shoes..:)

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