Ready ???

Well went to a work function for the first time since Glenns death and I think I did ok, I did however notice a few changes in me.  First I have a very difficult time having a conversation involving more than one or two people, which is nothing like me.  I am hoping I get past this, I just get overwhelmed and shut down.  I also find my self observing rather than participating, which is not like me.   I catch myself making jokes and trying to make others feel comfortable because I know they do not know what to say, or say nothing.  I can tell you this, it is always better to say something than nothing.  I was always one of those people that said something stupid and put my foot in my mouth in emotional situations.  "I am sorry for your loss" is just fine :).  Please do not tell me Glenn is happy now or in a better place, I know all of that but it really doesn't make me feel any better. Oh yes and PLEASE do not mention me getting married again, because that does NOT make me feel better it makes me want to throw up! :)  too soon people way too soon...if ever.  I cried most of the way home.  I think because it will be difficult to go back to normal life with out Glenn, there will be a noticeable hole in our family routine that cannot be filled.  Alas, it is time to get back to doing all of the normal things no matter how hard it will be.  I have missed my work though and hope it will not take me too long to get back into the swing of things.
   My wonderful brother David is still painting and doing repairs in my house..he is a godsend!  So much has been left undone because of Glenns illness, that much is needed to be done and he is doing a beautiful job!  My family has been so great to step in WHENEVER needed.  We are truly blessed..:)